Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
