He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
