Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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