dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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