fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
