Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
