what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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