Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
home. puking in laundry basket.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
