make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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