Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize