watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Randomize
