I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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