Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
