i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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