Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
