john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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