I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
