I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize