you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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