people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
