By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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