Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
