I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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