God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
