My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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