I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Can I color on your dick again?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
