I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
