I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
