does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
