If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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