I think I just saw someone hide a body.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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