So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
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I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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