So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
