Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
