Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
