Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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