Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
