i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
