yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize