office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
