Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
