did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
