No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
