I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
