when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
