he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
