I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
So squirting runs in the family.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
