Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
