You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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