I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
