Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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