Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
