The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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