Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you traded sex for a burrito?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
