So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
