When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
