It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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