i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
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In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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