the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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