You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
