so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize