Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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