we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
