Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
