We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Randomize
