just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
