So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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