why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
