It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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