it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
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thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
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But theres a keg here and me gusta
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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